Wednesday, December 31, 2008

Princess of the Flies


I had this dream last night:

I was parked in a residential neighborhood with someone I knew (I can't remember who). We watched as a little girl, looking to be around 10 years old, walked up to a van parked near our own car. She had long, straight, dark hair and wore a long dress and overcoat with knee highs. I could barely make out her face.

She carried a gun, hanging low by her side. It looked too big for her hands.

Then I could see her from right behind her shoulder like I was a bird perched there. She opened one of the back sliding doors of the van and inside was a young man. He was studying an anatomy book.

The little girl shot him in his left eye.

Back to the car. We had already started driving out of the neighborhood before hearing the shot. When it was fired, my companion said we should turn around and find out what was going on. Knowing full well what had gone on (since apparently I'm Scatman Crothers in my dreams. In my dreams is right), I yelled no, trying to convince my buddy that was the last place we needed to be.

I eventually won out.

Later, we watched the news for word on the tot killing spree. The police had arrived too late to catch her, but the biopsy indicated that the corpse had been sexually violated, presumably by the little girl.

Should probably stop watching "Dexter" before going to bed.

Thursday, December 25, 2008

Happy Holidays, Fuckers


<---------check out Natalie Dee's website in the left margin.

Monday, December 22, 2008

Talking about music is like dancing about architecture


So dance anyway.
Finally finished the new Scuttlebutt list 'o tunes in the left margin. You should give it a listen to.

Your mind -- it will be blown.

Friday, December 19, 2008

Lyrics by Smog


"Bathysphere"

When I was seven
I asked my mother
To trip me to the bay
And put me on a ship
And lower me down
Lower me out of here
Because when I was seven
I wanted to live in a bathysphere
Between coral
Silent eel
Silver swordfish
I can't really feel or dream down here
And if the water should cut my line
Set me free
And if the water should cut my line
Set me free, I don't mind
I'll be the lost sailor, my home is the sea
When I was seven
My father said to me
'But you can't swim'
And I've never dreamed of the sea again

Thursday, December 18, 2008

The Road


What would you do if I died?
If you died I would want to die too.
So you could be with me?
Yes. So I could be with you.
Okay.

He lay listening to the water drip in the woods. Bedrock, this. The cold and the silence. The ashes of the late world carried on the bleak and temporal winds to and fro in the void. Carried forth and scattered and carried forth again. Everything uncoupled from its shoring. Unsupported in the ashen air. Sustained by a breath, trembling and brief. If only my heart were stone.

He woke before dawn and watched the gray day break. Slow and half opaque. He rose while the boy slept and pulled on his shoes and wrapped in his blanket he walked out through the trees. He descended into a gryke in the stone and there he crouched coughing and he coughed for a long time. Then he just knelt in the ashes. He raised his face to the paling day. Are you there? he whispered. Will I see you at the last? Have you a neck by which to throttle you?
"The Road" by Cormac McCarthy

Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Wednesday, December 10, 2008

Friday, December 5, 2008

Thursday, December 4, 2008

The Sexiest Albums from the Sexiest People

I didn't think the Village People could get any gayer. Once again, the '80's have made a mockery of everything we stand for.



When asked, Dwayne and Dwight's parents said the boys seemed their normal, happy selves that fateful night. But that was before they found the bodies hanging side by side and a suicide note-album filled with depression and upbeat folksy harmonies.



Pooh-Man, why you so funky?




The Christian Crusaders: attacking our sensibilities with organ riffs and burgundy.




I want to know the story behind "Snake." Who is he and why is he so serious?





"Will you quit already?! Just ...uhhhh...just stop...stop with the water, will you?!! Uh, Dude! I'm trying to tell them how much I love my life and 'stache and you're ruining it with that fucking gardening can! Shit! Who does that anyway?"





...because they wouldn't play Rock Band with me.




And this clearly proves that the Katarist Preacher is more powerful than God. Duh.



This classy lady can even make a beer shit sexy. Stay tuned for her next album: "Back to the Disco" featuring her even sexier "disco fever" pose.




The many facets of Roger (clockwise from top left):
Pretty Roger
Business Roger
Gregarious Roger
Suspicious Roger
Misanthropic Roger
Judgmental Roger...boo!
Oh Roger, you complex glitter-bomb. Does anyone really know you?




Something special from Jeff, like a hook in the FACE!



"Our hearts keep singing, but our vision stays below 20/20"




"Oh Tino, mi amorrrrr. Quiero tu sexo hacer en mi amor agujero. Por favorrrrr."




I'll believe it when I see some miraculous stump-jobs.



God should have had you aborted.



Devastatin' Dave, you dig?



The Young Republicans Club -- all grown up and bi-curious.



Nothing kills a good time quicker than a lazy pussy. Buh dum.

Neighbors were alarmed to hear motorcycles revving outside their windowsat 3 AM but soon went back to bed, defeated, after realizing it was those damn Ritchie sisters and their posse of half-naked meatheads, again.



I genuinely want to buy the Rhythmic Reverend's record. No shit.



10 minutes later, Johnny was arrested for his lame attempt to get young girls to "expose" themselves to him. He was never seen again.

This is in memory of his Cajun music and his spicy gumbos.

Booya!



True story: I go to this Kabob place nearby that has THE best kabobs and this Orion dude's face plastered all over the walls (sans child molester mask).

I now finally believe he exists-- my version of the Dead Sea Scrolls.






Wednesday, December 3, 2008

I'm the Chairman of the Bored

*tap* *tap* this thing on?
1st Scuttlebutt post, alright!